The Baby Mop

Babies are freeloaders. They don't need to earn their keep. If they're lucky enough to have a good home, they get free meals and toys. We need to put our babies to work!

The problem? Job interviews are practically impossible for a little toddler. They just don't know anything about the working world.

The Baby Mop has solved that problem. Now, it is easier than ever for babies to work from home, which solves all commute problems as well. And there's no job interview required.

As you can see from the photo, babies are calm and comfortable in this onesie. But, as they crawl around your floor, they clean it up with the attached mop surface. Just read these bulletpoints from BetterThanPants.com, which sells Baby Mops:

Teach your baby a strong work ethic early on in their life.

Your baby will learn not to drop and waste food.

Baby will get a nice workout, burn off energy, and do muscle toning. And sleep better too!

Not having to clean your floors saves you time so you can spend it doing things you enjoy.

Save lots of money on house cleaning costs.

 I'm convinced. I don't have children to use it on, though, but I guess it's good for a gift. Any baby raised in a Baby Mop will be a baby raised to work.

Thanks for listening, thingologists! Have a good day, and I'll catch you on the flipside.